I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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