I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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