I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
