i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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