I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
