omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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