Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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