Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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