I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
