I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
