She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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