I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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