worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
