I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So vagazzling was a success
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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