I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dignity is for republicans.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The Olympian is in my bed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
