So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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