SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
