You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
