He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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