i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
