I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
