What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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