He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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