i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
