Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you never un-have a 4some
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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