He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
