are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
