still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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