and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
