Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
