grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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