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• (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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• (760): View more from California

  Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical

  (212): View more from New York

  I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man

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