i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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