Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she smelled like a LAN party
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
