What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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