The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
