so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
