that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
