I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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