so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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