I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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