Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
