Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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