You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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