can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
