could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
