I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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