just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
