I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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