Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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