I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
