I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize