Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
