Non-Jews are for practice
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
