Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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