Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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