Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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