I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
