I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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