I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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