Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
