So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
