i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
