you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
