Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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