I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We're too hungover to prance.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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