If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize