Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
