Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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